What to do after Yelling at your Kids (Virtual)
As parents and human beings, we are likely all too familiar with the dreaded shame cycle that follows losing our temper with our children. Whether yelling at our toddler for causing a scene with another temper tantrum in the cereal aisle of the grocery store, lecturing our eight year old for refusing to turn off the screen when it was time for dinner, or screaming at our teenager for sleeping through their school alarm for the fourth time this week, the guilt and shame in the aftermath of these angry outbursts is predictable. We may feel unworthy of our title as a parent. Despite our intellectual understanding of how to handle these situations that come from having taken all the parenting courses, read all the books, listened to all the latest podcasts and even practiced the scripts with our partner and girlfriends, we convince ourselves that we need more training to avoid an outburst next time we find ourselves in conflict with our children. It’s so understandable.
When I became a parent, I knew I wanted to raise my children differently than my parents had raised me. So I focused on learning all the things I should be DOING to get parenting right. Unfortunately, even my best efforts fell short, and I still ended most days wishing I could be more patient and loving with my two children.
Over time, I learned a radical new approach about my relationship to the yelling that changed everything and helped me minimize the yelling. What would you say if I told you it’s OK that you yelled? What if I told you yelling does not make you a bad parent? What if I told you that there is something you can do to minimize the trauma caused to your child when you do yell?
In this workshop, together we will explore approaches to help you come back into alignment with yourself and replace the dreaded guilt and shame spirals with a scientifically backed approach to help you more quickly reconnect, repair and reestablish a loving connection with your children.
Does this sound like the workshop you have been waiting for? Sign up to be added to the waitlist now.
Sibling Rivalry Workshop (Virtual)
There it is, that awful moment when our children are fighting. Again. By now we recognize the predictable pattern. Perhaps things are fine until mom or dad enters the room, and then things immediately begin to escalate. Or maybe there is name-calling, or even physical outbursts over who gets to pick the next tv show every single night. We understand intellectually that they are seeking our attention, but it’s still hard to take. All the fighting gets exhausting, and we are tired of constantly being a referee in our own home. In this moment of discomfort, our fantasy about having multiple children so they could play together and become best friends is shattered.
When we are able to look below the surface of the patterns, we may find two key things: 1) Sibling rivalry is a normal part of the development process, and gives children multiple opportunities to develop resilience and coping skills so they can stand up for themselves later in life. And 2) Our reaction to conflicts between our children can often be traced back to the modeling we received from our caregivers about how to deal with disagreements and/or
attention seeking behavior. This association between past experiences and present experiences can mean that our reactions sometimes unconsciously fuel the conflict.
In this workshop designed for families with young kids through the elementary years, we explore why kids fight, and how we can model and support healthy self-expression and conflict resolution in our children. Since this type of low-stake conflict can help our kids develop skills that will serve them in their adult relationships, we will also discuss how to receive the conflict inherent in sibling rivalry as a gift.
Interested in learning how to move out of the role of a referee? Sign up to be added to the waitlist so you can get notified next time this workshop is offered.