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The makings of my parenting journey were well underway long before my two precious children, Noah and Norah were born.
I grew up in a household with an authoritarian father, and a mother who overcompensated by being overly permissive. As a child, this juxtaposition often left me feeling anxious and powerless. In young adulthood, I decided neither style was effective and vowed to find another way when it came time to parent my own children.
When my first child was born, I naturally turned to my scientific mind, immersing myself in the psychology and science of child rearing and child development. I wanted to avoid passing my own generational trauma down to my kids. I wanted to become a peaceful parent, a parent who had influence on their kids because of connection, not because of fear.
Having memorized every script in all the child rearing books, I “performed” well for the first three years of motherhood. During this time, I was hyper focused on parenting. Meanwhile, everything else in my life crumbled around me.
After my second child was born, I suffered from postpartum anxiety and depression, which left me unable to sustain the facade. For the next several years, I spiraled downward. I continued to work hard to “perform” as a parent, and yet felt like a failure at the end of every day. I saw my parents in myself more often than I would have liked to admit and was consumed with self-loathing.
In my pursuit to be a perfect mother and good wife, I had given everything I had and lost myself completely. I hit rock bottom.
Over time, I learned that exploring my inner child wounds, relating to myself with compassion, and recognizing that my own relationship with myself dictates how I relate to everyone around me were all necessary precursors to my own transformation. Connecting to my authentic self and consciously choosing to stop abandoning myself have also been powerful and life changing practices.
Carl Rogers was right when he said, ”’The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
I no longer strive to be a perfect mother. And yet, I relate to myself and my kids with greater compassion and connection now than I ever did before.
The work of Dr. Shefali Tsabary, an acclaimed author, clinical psychologist and wisdom teacher well known for her pioneering work around conscious parenting, was a critical bridge for me. When I heard her speak, something clicked. Dr. Shefali gave me a sense of hope, and modeled for me a path forward that would show me how to learn to operate from the inside out. Other influential teachers I have studied with include Dr. Gabor Mate, well known for his Compassionate Inquiry work, and Suzi Lula, a spiritual psychologist, author and wisdom teacher who has helped me bring sacred listening and authentic experiential practices into my client work. I am a Certified Conscious Parenting Coach from Dr. Shefali’s Conscious Coaching Institute and a SoulCare Certified Coach from Suzi Lula’s Spiritual Psychology Academy. I have also done 90 hours of study in Dr. Gabor Maté’s Compassionate Inquiry.
I am passionate about providing safe spaces for mothers to connect and grow together. I also love supporting my clients to integrate their past wounds so they can show up fully present for their families (and themselves).
In recent years a significant portion of my inner work has been focused on redefining my relationship with myself, which has in turn created a ripple effect in my relationships inside the home. Where I previously felt powerless and regularly abandoned my authenticity to maintain peace and connection, I have now learned new patterns. Today I am better able to communicate respectfully, non violently. authentically, and from a place of strength, which has empowered me to claim my own power.
Today, compassion is my compass in every aspect of my life and I look forward to connecting soon so I can assist you with finding your own inner compass.
Live Online Mindful Self-Compassion
from Center for Mindful Self-Compassion (Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Chris Germer)
Soul Care Coaching Certification
from Suzi Lula Soul Care Coaching
Facilitated Short Course in Compassionate Inquiry with Dr. Gabor Maté
from Compassionate Inquiry
Conscious Parenting Method Certification
from Dr. Shefali’s Conscious Parenting Institute
The Year of the Awakened Heart
from Dr. Shefali
RAIN Partners Training
from Tara Brach
Transcending Trauma: Treating Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems (IFS)
from Frank Anderson, MD
Soul Care Mastery
by Suzi Lula
Staying in Love: The Art of Fierce Intimacy
by Terrance Real
Embracing All of You: Compassionate Inquiry meets Internal Family Systems
by Dr. Gabor Maté and Richard Schwartz